Today, I left the house at 8:30am.
Today, I went to Starbucks and ordered a small regular coffee. They didn’t leave enough room in the cup, and there wasn’t enough cream left, so I put in about half my normal amount. I drank it anyway. I was surprised to find it still too rich. I drank coffee as I waited for the bus with my bags.
Today, I sat poised and silent on a bus, quietly observing the world passing by. I was calm, composed, and pensive. I sat on the metro and silently watched my own reflection. I don’t know if it was the contrast of my pale skin and jewel scarf, or the soft fall of my lengthening hair, or the slightly tired but peaceful glance, but I saw in myself an adult. Had the bulging childhood cheeks suddenly disappeared? How could my eyes now demand a new respect?
Today, I felt adult. Sure, I’ve been living independently for two years, but there is a significant difference between acting like an adult, and truly feeling looked upon and respected as one.
Today, I felt like I could conquer the world. I was taking risks, but I felt an overwhelming and exhilarating confidence in my pursuits. There was no one looking down on me, no one telling me to wait, or be realistic, or be practical. No one telling me what I should or shouldn’t be focused on. No one dictating my direction or destination. I was in the driver’s seat, and it both thrilled and terrified me.
Tomorrow, the world had better watch out. I just might feel adult again.